April Fools
by scottosaurusrex
Summary: The Kerbalnauts celebrate April Fools Day.


Finally, it was done. He had worked hard for this, and finally, it was done. As he tightened the last bolt, he breathed a sigh of relief, and stood back to admire his work. It had taken him 4 hours of torturous labour, but now it was done.

Jeb headed back to the dorms, but noticed something just balancing between the door and doorframe. He pushed the door further open, and a bucket of water fell off and spilt all over the floor. Bill ran around the corner, screaming: "April Fools!", but then it dawned on him that his trap hadn't actually worked. His joyous expression quickly turned into an annoyed look, and then just as quickly into depression. He said to Jeb: "Three times I've tried and not one hit. You guys are just too good for me." He collapsed onto his bed. "Everyone has said better luck next year for years now, but so far this luck isn't amounting to anything useful! I may as well give up."

"Hey, you can help me with mine," Replied Jeb, "This one's bound to work!"

Valentina tried next, but to no avail. She had set up a contraption rivalling Rube Goldburg, spanning an entire room. It's final use was to dump the entire campus and space centre's cesspit on the two Kerbalnauts. Bill got caught, but thanks to his quick reactions Jeb managed to dive out the way. Valentina came down from the perch she was stood on, and congratulated him. "No-one so far has dodged it that well," she said, "That was impressive. Not so lucky Bill!" He wiped the fecal matter off himself. "Right, I'm off to the showers." The three of them went their separate ways, Bill to the showers, Valentina to the dorms and Jeb outside.

Jeb strolled outside, ready to see his prank make the headlines. Just as he turned the corner to the launchpad, Bob jumped out with a grotesque mask on, shouting and screaming. Jeb just stood there looking at him, as if he was off his rocker. Bob, realising he was completely unfazed, took off the mask and said in the shyest voice possible: "April Fools...?" Jeb walked a bit past him before turning round to say, "Get a better mask," and walked off. Jeb was thinking a bit more highly about himself now, after his great comeback and seeing how lame the other's pranks were. Suddenly a voice came over the loudspeaker. "Can all students and Kerbalnauts please congregate to the launchpad. It's time for the annual April Fools rocket launch!" Everyone was now hurrying to catch a glimpse of this annual spectacular, and Jeb went even faster than most, ready to see his great creation come to life.

"3. 2. 1. LAUNCH!" The crowd screamed, and the KSC manager hit the button. Surprisingly nothing happened and the crowd excitement turned quickly into disbelief, and then dismay. But then, a rumbling and a shaking started. Screams of "Kerbinquake!" and "Everyone get down!" erupted in the crowd, as the ground behind the launchpad started to split open. A giant billboard seemed to be rising from the ground, fully lit with flashing neon lights and sparklers. In the neons were words: "April Fools!" Quickly everyone realised that Jeb must be behind it, therefore he must have rerouted the power to this, stopping the ceremony! In anger they started to smack and throw things at him. The KSC manger came down and pulled him out of the crowd, before whispering something to his secretary. About an hour later the ceremony was ready and back on. This time, though, Jeb was strapped to the rocket. It blasted off, allowing Jeb to study, firsthand, the effects of 5Gs on a Kerbal head. After about 5 minutes the parachute opened and Jeb drifted slowly back down to Kerbin. He decided to take an early leave, and call it a night.

Alternate Ending - Darker!

During the night the exposure to such force on his head caused a small bleed in his brain that killed him overnight, leaving bruising and swelling that scarred his corpse's head. In the morning Bill, Bob and Valentina found his body, and in a final act of memorium they popped his head with a pin, sobbing "April Fools."


End file.
